There's no such thing as universal "sub traits". There are no traits that are universally valued by a preponderance of d-types. There are no traits that are expressed by a preponderance of s-types.
Submission and/or slavery are personal and individual. How they are expressed is unique to each individual s-type - and to each relationship between an s-type and a d-type.
Submission and dominance are not necessarily sexual things - particularly the 24/7 kind. Robin and I are not M and s because it makes our pink parts tingly. (There are some bits that do feed into that, but they are not the reason, or the mainstay, of What It Is That We Do.) She doesn't fetch my tea, or pick up my plates, or set up my wheels or whatever for a sexual thrill. She does it simply because it pleases me and that makes her happy.
There are many things I do for her because she is my beloved pet and spoiling her makes *me* happy. Very rarely do I order her around (and then I'm usually teasing). Robin and I have been together for a very long time, we talk about a lot of things regularly, and she pays very close attention to me. She knows what I like and what I need and she takes care of me. Simply and quietly and discretely.
What we have isn’t to satisfy some drive in either one of us. It's just the relationship style that works for us here-and-now. If I fell off the face of the earth, she'd not be going off searching for someone to serve. If I didn't have her, I wouldn't feel a lack of service or be searching for a slave. Some of my other relationships have had D/s elements. Some didn't.
Having someone submit to me isn't a "need". I don't need my will validated. I'm a Witch - I'm well aware of my will and what it can do; I have all the validation I need from my Craft and my Gods. I don't need to be told that my needs are important - my own self-worth tells me that. This isn't an ego game. I am a d-type. That's no different from "I have blue eyes". Not your kind of d-type? Fine. Then we don't need to play together then, do we? No skin off my nose.
That's all I've got for tonight. See ya'll later.
This entry was originally posted at http://sanacrow.dreamwidth.org/11002.ht